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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

Affair Guilt

Updated: May 16, 2023

Feeling guilt is a part of having an affair. How can you betray someone without feeling guilt?

The problem here, is that the guilt grows and spreads like a virus, and there is no vaccine to cure it.

The guilt also spreads as you hurt people. The betrayed, your family friends and the person you are having the affair with.

Plain and simple people get hurt and if you have any feelings, you will feel the guilt at hurting other people.

However, at first the guilt is covered up by the euphoria of the affair itself. The pure emotion of "finding the love of your life" and the buzz, supresses the guilt.

However, the deeper the affair gets, the more complicated it becomes, the more the feelings and guilt rise to the surface. You may decide to tell your partner for some reason (maybe due to guilt), whatever the scenario you will get closer to guilt.

Understanding what guilt is brings an awareness at the harm we do, by having an affair.


Guilt is a complex emotion that involves feeling; responsible or remorseful for something that we have done or failed to do. It's a feeling of discomfort or self-reproach that arises when we believe we have violated a moral or ethical standard, either our own or society's.

Guilt often arises from a sense of wrong doing or responsibility for harm caused to others, and can be accompanied by feelings of shame, embarrassment, or anxiety. It can be a healthy response to mistakes or wrong doing, motivating us to make amends or take responsibility for our actions.

However, excessive or unwarranted guilt can also be harmful, leading to self-blame, self-criticism, and self-doubt. It's important to distinguish between legitimate guilt and unjustified guilt, and to seek support and guidance when necessary to work through feelings of guilt and move towards healing and forgiveness.

Affairs get complicated and at some point you start to talk to friends or family. Your partner may reveal to you that they know what is going on.

In my experience my partner knew and challenged me on my affair (good on her) that took courage and strength. This was really where my guilt started. I knew I was doing wrong! I was causing harm and that harm deepened and festered.

The guilt spread to my partner and to the person I was having an affair with. Someone had to be, or was going to be hurt on a huge scale. Because of me and my decision.

In my experience the guilt was to heavy, not just for me and for others around me, and it was to destructive and to harmful. There was to much guilt. Guilt for lying, deceit, deception, trickery, hurt, lack of responsibility etc.

Guilt can lead to avoidance behaviours, as we try to escape the uncomfortable feelings associated with our actions or thoughts. This can result in isolation, withdrawal, and an overall decrease in quality of life, which is what an affair does. epic highs to colossal lows.

Lastly, excessive guilt can also interfere with our relationships and interactions with others. It can make us defensive and aggressive, or cause us to project our guilt onto others in the form of blame or criticism.

Ending an affair can be a difficult and emotional decision, and it's not uncommon to experience feelings of guilt. It's important to remember that an affair involves betraying the trust of one or more people, and the consequences of ending it can be complex and painful.

When you end an affair you need help and that help can come in various forms.

No such thing!!

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