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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

Compulsive Affair Cheating

Updated: Jun 8, 2023

A whole new ball game. Compulsive cheating vs affair!

Firstly we need to define compulsive cheating. Compulsive cheating could be considered an affair with one person that is on and off. However, let's not forget what may cause that! Addiction and an overwhelming desire to be with that one person who is causing a euphoria state.

This can be confusing because the betrayer may want to end the affair but can't. They try but the desire to be with the affair person is so great that the battle is lost over and over again. the pure emotional state is so overpowering that the break up is unfortunately doomed to fail. That is a reality. Not unbeatable though. There are ways to deal with the addictions that lead to the affair continuing. 'Love' if I dare use that word, is overpowering and the saying is love is blind however before you jump to any conclusions on what love is read the previous post. Deception or falsehood is an act or statement that misleads, hides the truth, or promotes a belief..

This is really damaging to the betrayed and there must be a breaking point. There is a breaking point!

We also bare in mind that there may be only one affair. Yes during that affair there may be multiple points where the affair is broken off but resumes due to the desire and addiction, but it is one affair. Wrong, but one affair.

This is not what I would call compulsive cheating. Compulsive cheating is another issue and there may be a few different reasons.

It is important to understand what those reasons might be:

  • Maybe they enjoy the buzz. Sex addiction. A buzz is a great feeling and this may be one reason why there is repeated behaviour. The key here is to remember that there are other ways to get a buzz. This is an area that needs discussion honesty and may be outside help is a must.

  • Maybe they are just not happy. Needs should be met and if they are not it can lead to frustration and looking for those needs to be met elsewhere. Emotional needs are as important as sexual needs. The sex was great, but there was more to it. There has to be more than just sex! The lack of emotional connection is a huge deal to people. We need connection and emotion in a relationship. Without it the relationship is just a monumental in terms of noticing the lack of connection. That connection will be sort out elsewhere.

  • Opportunity and what is behind monitoring that opportunity. Is the person looking for opportunities to have sex? If they are, why are they? Does this take us into the realm of sexual predators? There are people who will just look for an opportunity. Normally this is a personality trait.

There are more but the themes are similar.

What do you do? Seek help. Talk to a specialist. Be honest and open. Be strong and challenge the person who is cheating. Search for answers. Review the relationship. Find the flaws and make the change.

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