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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

FR and High

I think we change as we get older. Maybe we learn things from others, or we engage with others in different ways and we take this home, expecting our partners to be, or to do what others do. Maybe… or maybe we find something that we were lacking in a relationship, discovering a whole new realm of life that we didn’t even know existed and we want to peruse that more, to enjoy those experiences.

Maybe it is simply dreams that others help you achieve. It might be a new hobby or interest, it might just be expressing things more openly, or it might just be finding true love.

Who knows?

We are all different and experience things in different ways. The problem is, the older we become, the more we discover what is actually out there.

What I mean by that is this: I could be friends with the same person for twenty years – I go out with them to shop, go to the movies, chat about politics and the routine things in life, and they are relatively quiet, but they are a good loyal friend and would help at any time. After twenty years I meet another person and build an entirely new friendship. Only this brings an entirely new level of friendship. This friend is loud, brings banter and loud laughter, they drink and get merry more. They enjoy going out for meals and weekends away. It is a whole new realm of experiences that you never experienced, but like it.

Nothing wrong with that.

However if it is another person it can be very dangerous!

It is amazing how you change when a circumstance takes over your life. Your whole thinking pattern deviates, your normal thought configurations disappear real fast and you start a new route and a new way of processing surroundings. This new process affects everything, and I mean everything!

It is an holistic, take over. Your whole being evolves around you and this new person in your life. It completely takes over, your personal life becomes infected, your work life becomes infected, basically everything is contaminated and you live and breathe, dare I say it… affair?

When you are at home you become a druggy on a dream. When you are at work you become a distracted child, preoccupied, gazing into space, losing track of your purposes.

It is a mind-blowing experience and the high is astounding, not that you realise at the time that it is a high. Totally irrational thinking tiptoes its way into your everyday life. Everything looks glossy and pretty, rose tinted and desirable.

Some of the thoughts I had back then seemed so crazy. For instance, I barely knew the person in reality, right? Yet I was willing to give up a built-up marriage and life for what? For fantasies, for some short-lived pleasures, thoughts and excitement running through my mind. Ok, at the time maybe it was not a fantasy, it felt real, but I was ignoring the labels: fantasy, dream, and wishful thinking!

It was like a highway and as you drive you see all the other signs for:

· Astounding Happiness Lane

· The Road To Relationship With No Problems

· Happy Everyday Highway

· Long Lasting Feelings Lane

· Dream Highway

· Holidays Filled With Sex Road

· Romance Boulevard

· Looking Sexy Every Minute Of Everyday Driveway

· Sexy Street

· Foreplay Parking Area

I was drugged up and loving it. I was turning into this deluded selfish, self-absorbed person with only two things on my mind…

But what is the theme here? it is pretty obvious.


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