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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

Having an affair? Who are your friends?

A friend in need is a friend in deed. So true!

What is a real friend?

In times of trouble a friend is someone who is there for you unconditionally.

An affair will show who is truely there for you, and a real friend will be there for you without, judging you, or the circumstance.

Interesting, that after my affair I became so different in terms of my approach to others. Who was I to judge anyone. To understand is so important, not to judge!

Maybe I learnt this from my circumstance as well (the affair) and how I became a person that thought it would not happen to me.... but it did. This meant that, anyone can be susceptible to anything, without the ability to control it. That being said, I was eventually able to process it and in the end make a little bit of sense from the whole event, to be able to make a sensible decision.

But to make that decision I need friends! People that actually listened, absorbed and gave advice in a kind manner that made my think and examine my actions and my future.

These friends did not judge me, but helped me process. They were very clever in their approach. During my time spent with them they listened to my exuses and attempts to justify what I was doing, but also prompted me into thinking and question what I was doing, going and losing.

Clever they were.

Without them I would have made huge mistakes and I would no doubt be in a different place.

You will know who the real gems are in times of trouble, as they certainly shine through.

I am so grateful to these people. I will never forget their approach, their comfort, their ability and the true friendship.

6 years later they are still friends, whether distant or close.

They made a valuable impact in and on my life. Do they know it? I hope so.

So a real friend is there in times of trouble. If you need help and a friend is not able or willing to listen, then I say question the friendship without judging and bearing in mind that we are all going through something.

Some of my so called friends were not interested and never even asked when I prompted for help.

My point is be brave ask a friend and you will know who is there for you.

Key people during an affair:

1. Friends

2. A great counsellor

3. The one who loves you

Make good decisions, seek advice from the right people, examing yourself and actions, fight the addiction, choose a valid path.

Good luck.

If you need advice or have a question just email or add a comment. We are in this together.

Who is your friend?

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