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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

The Greater Effects..

Easy to look at yourself and think about how an affair has been so dramatic on your life.

It is easy to only think about yourself.

The truth is though the effects are great and the ripple travels a long way.

We need to understand the damage an affair can do, not just on your partner but on your friends and family as well.

If I sit here and think back I can see the devastation it actually had on them.

My parents for example. Well, my Mum just cried. my dad tried to say the rights things but this was new to them. they didn't know what to say or do. They tried. It clearly was a stressful time for them.

My friends. The truth is, it sorted the men from the boys and I will always know who my true friends are. But god, I must have been intolerable. I was so transfixed on what I thought was right that I must have been a complete nightmare. They probable though uh oh here he comes again, same old story, same old problems. But to be fair they stuck by me and advised me all the way through. To be honest, I did listen to them, it just took a long time for me to act. But how did it affect them? They had their own family problems without me adding to them! They would have been torn as well.

Torn between my wife and me. What a position to put someone in!

Brothers, sisters, sons and daughters are all affected by an affair.

I think it is prudent to stop and think about others. Not just on your side but on the affair partners' side as well. however, you may only think about this when it is too late. That is the problem with affairs, they are so hard to stop.

But maybe it is worth a thought, no matter what stage you are at. take a moment and really think about who is in the firing line and how much damage they will receive.

The damage is greater than you think.

The strange thing is, out of all my friends that di support and advise only one seems to ask how things are now and that is very indirect. Wierd? is it now a taboo subject?

Next post. Why do people stop asking?

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Unknown member
Mar 06, 2021

I think people (maybe through no fault of their own) think they matter is resolved. They think they have insight and understandMing of the situation and that it’s a thing of the past. They don‘t enquire for many reasons, sometimes maybe because they don’t want to bring it up and cause trauma. For those individuals who have been immediately involved in an affair, it is like an invisible tattoo and has scarred our very being and as such will never be erased. I thought I understood the effect of an affair as I saw my parents go through this situation and age 11. But truthfully I only witnessed it from my perspective. Friends and family, although doing their level…

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