What is your biggest fear in life? Your partner having an affair or, knowing your partner is in an affair or, finding out that your partner has had an affair?
All the above maybe! All equally scary.
Of course worrying about your partner having an affair is manageable and not something you should be focusing on, as this can lead to distrust, which would or could damage the relationship in the future. Concentrating on the relationship itself is of far more value than concentrating on the what if.
Prevention is always better that cure! Believe me.
Finding out that your partner is having an affair is like a great earthquake that shakes everything you have and bringing it all down to ground level.
People react in different ways and go through different emotions. The key here is to control those emotions as much as you can. Not easy! as this is total betrayal and, to not react seems so unreasonable.
There is a lot to fathom out at this point. Mainly the WHY?
Why did you do this? This is the key question. To fix a problem we need to understand the problem. If it is someone who has a track record of affairs and messing around then you could be dealing with a narcissistical personality. If this is the case you may be best to move on, as the chances are this could happen again.
If this has never happen before the chances are that something has gone wrong in the relationship. You may have drifted apart and forgotten the intimacy that is needed to keep a relationship healthy.
If this is the case it is time to reset. The trouble is, that the person in the affair will most likely be in a zone that seems unbreakable. However affairs do end and marriages do fix.
If you would like any information on how to start the mending process let me know. I am here to try and help.
My next post is going to be very different!
Being suspicious and then taking the steps to find out. My gut tells me he’s been cheating on/off for years. And probably with someone I know, a close friend. I’m going to be putting in the effort to find out for sure. I will not live with a cheater! Gonna search his phone, go thru past phone records, get copies of text msgs, search his truck/garage/shed. anything to find out once and for all.