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Anchor 1
  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins


Christmas is here and for many it will be another year of eating, drinking, socialising and family fun. The norm if you like.

However, for others it will be different. It will be a sad and lonely time.

An affair brings change and one of those changes is highlighted at Christmas.

No fun, Fake laughing, changed emotions and just going through the motions.

However there is hope. Even though you are at your lowest point, and the loneliness feels like the worst you have ever had, there is hope.

My advise for this Christmas is accept that this one will be different. Accept that there will be tears and a great distance from reality. Nothing will be normal at the moment, so do not try and make it normal.

Focus on the journey ahead and how you might try with all your might to enlighten and guide your partner. It will be a thankless task. Emotionally draining and at times it will seem pointless.

But every comment, action and attempt to show that the relationship will work or can work and is worth fighting for. The comments and actions will be noted. It will make an impact and it will make them think.

That is your goal, to make them think and make them challenge themselves and the possible loss.

I look back at the Christmas of 2016 and I see the sadness in Mitchel, but she carried on. She nudged me, prompted me, told me and fought for me.

Mitchel was a gift and even though that Christmas was different and one to forget, the fact is I will not forget it! Because I look back and now realise how wonderful Christmas is with her.

You may read this and think good for you. But the truth is, we went through the same and we are here to say, it can change and it can be better.

Hold the fort for a while longer. Dig in deep and find a little more energy. Next Christmas may be very different, in a good way.

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