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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

Loosing time during an Affair

Updated: Dec 13, 2023

How much do you loose when you have an affair? More than you think.

What do you loose?

  • Respect

  • Friends

  • Family

  • Your partner

  • Time

And there are different ways of loosing time. Time dwelling on the wrong, guilt, lies, planning etc.. you get the drift.

Time is an important part of our life and if we neglect time spent with others they suffer. For example; our children suffer during an affair, due to absence (mind and body).

But the real loss is the time you loose with the ones that fight for you.

When we are involved in an affair our thought process is one sided. We are living in the extreme moment of ecstasy. Living on great highs and lows. We are living to self please without knowing it. This means you are not living your best life.

I know that during my affair I was not thinking about anything, or anyone else. I was actually in a place that was all consuming, meaning that I had no desire or time for anyone or anything else. My work suffered as I was to distracted, my friends suffered as I only wanted to see my affair partner, my family were pushed aside and my wife, well she was just a bullet to dodge.

Because of my lust, selfishness and desire for one thing, I was loosing valuable time with those that mattered. An affair lasts for an average of 2 years. That is 2 years before the wind up to the affair, and the wind down after an affair, all that can total 5 years. That is a chunk of time to loose in life. If you think about what you could achieve in that time!


Instead of focusing on "losing time" during an affair, it may be more beneficial to invest your energy in addressing the root causes of your dissatisfaction in your current relationship or personal life. Reflect on what may be lacking or unfulfilled and explore healthier ways to address those issues. This might involve open and honest communication with your partner, seeking couples therapy, or taking personal time for self-reflection and growth.

Remember, building and maintaining healthy relationships requires trust, respect, and open communication. It's important to consider the impact of your actions on yourself and others and strive for honesty, integrity, and personal growth. Thus way you make time count.


Who wants to loose time!


In our next blog we will talk about being used. What this looks like and who suffers.



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