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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

Affair Memories that Haunt you

Updated: Jun 8, 2023

I was thinking today on the way to work about memories. Mainly about how memories can haunt you and how the memories you don't want to remember seem to over power the good ones.

Hence the need for mind control and positive thinking.

However, I thought about choices and making the making of those choices. If we made good choices throughout our lives, would we be so tormented at times?

I thought about my life and the choices I have made and how those poor choices could possibly over power my thought process and have a devastating effect.

Sometimes my memories get me down. Sometimes I allow my memories to over power me. That is why it is so important to make good choices and new memories.

My thought process would be very different if I had made better choices. But I wouldn't be as wise now if I had made all the right choices.

So maybe that is the answer:

Make good choices with the wisdom you have at the time.

As you age make sure you learn from your bad choices and become older and wiser.

It is a long road to recovery.

I can see pain if look back and listen, my mind is full of regret and decision

Oh how I wish I had done things so different, to keep me sane and in a good position

Nothing can change…. what I choose in the moment, nor can I lose…… that memory of torment

I climb the walls as I sit here and ponder. All the dumb moves I made in this life

My mind is scrambled and fried with confusion, trying to run from the tiny explosion

But I know…. I am safe and not to fear, and I know…. Cause you’re there

So believe and stop what you’re doing

Think about the now and that you’re not now drowning

It is a mind game sent in to distort you

Memories are made by your choice and bestow you

You are the one who can calm me and guide me, you are my hope my wish and my dream

Oh how I wish you were here with me now, complete me and guide me and strengthen the team

How I dream…. Of our place and the feeling that taunts me, and the knowledge that you are always beside me

One day I know where I’ll be, that’s together, with you by my side where you’ve always been

Memories faded and peace as a picture, of mountains and trees as we sit there together

And I know…. That I’m safe, you are here, all is well, there’s no fear, with you now, so don’t leave, let’s stay, just you and me loosing ourselves in this dream we believe

So believe and stop what you’re doing

Think about the now and that you’re not now drowning

It is a mind game sent in to distort you

Memories are made by your choice and bestow you

Come on and join this dream and my new memory

You are the one I trust and want everyday

Touch me now and provide my fantasy

Take me to heaven and guide my eternity

I am lost in your soul and divinity

Blinded by all your sweet love and ability

You move in ways that provide all my purity

Giving my day and my mind stability

You are the one, who brings all serenity….

My days tranquillity

In this dream…

And this memory…

You are there…


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Paul  Hopkins
Paul Hopkins
Mar 07, 2022

Two empty chairs? Maybe the choice is yours as to who sits in them? You may have been betrayed but amidst the confusion and pain you were not forgotten or not listened to. Maybe you do not need to police any thoughts because maybe the thoughts are laid in your direction.

There maybe a ghost at times, but as long as you hold hands and remain strong the ghost will only hover for a short time and then fade.

Not speaking of the affair is a sign of progress and healing. Who would want to talk about it for ever. The lessons have been learnt and a choice was made but not forgotten.

The piece of heart that was left…


Unknown member
Mar 06, 2022

As the betrayed spouce, I feel uncomfortable regarding the memories post. But acknowledge I cannot police the thoughts of my husband! Although, we never speak about the affair nowadays, ‘she’ remains a ghost in our marriage, unexpected and certainly uninvited (from my perspective). I think even though those involved previously in an affair deny it they leave a price of their heart with their affair partner, which cannot be retrieved or returned, the ‘soul-mate‘ bond. I have to work with this knowledge and accept this or enevitably I am not giving my all to the relationship, although I have been told no one can give 100 pc, so in this case 99 pc will have to do

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