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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

Affair Obsession

Updated: Jun 8, 2023

After my affair I was always listening to lyrics in a different way. Or I was watching movies from a different angle due to what I had learnt over the insanity I had been through. Some of the lyrics or lines are so precise in their description of love (and I use love loosely here) because maybe love is the wrong word. I think this is more about obsession due to a super dose of dopamine and serotonin. The happy drug!

But nevertheless the feeling is of the same ilk. That feeling of excitement, euphoria, longing and anticipation. All these feeling capturing your mind and dragging you off to a place that is so wonderful and in most case the right and a good place to be.

What I mean by this is if you connect with the opposite sex for the very first time. You ask them out on a date and from there the connection builds. The talking the holding hands the touching and the sex are all incredible and are exactly the same feeling one goes through when having an affair. However the circumstances are very different.

I have talked before about the relationship you are in and how we have to work on keeping those feelings alive and that is not a chore it is a part of a relationship that should be enjoyable.

I can not stress enough how important it is to keep the spark alive. It takes two and it is possible but it takes dedication focus. Yes if you are banging your head up a brick wall take drastic action and by that I mean speak out and speak loud. Wake the partner up!

But back to obsession. how do we break that obsession and overcome the drug that captures our mind. In my book I talk about what it takes or took to be able to do this and this is a real challenge.

Take Facebook as an example. Look at all the people that are addicted to FB. Millions. If you do some digging you will find out why it is addictive. Take a photo upload it and wait for that little thumbs up which they can a like. That little thumbs up gives you a high, dopamine and serotonin. The happy drug. That is why we open FB time and time again to see how many likes we received. Now try and stop!

It is not easy.

So to be able to stop a connection or affair and everything that comes with it is huge. We are not talking about a few likes here. We all talking about full on full scale dopamine and serotonin infusion. To break this fix we are going to need some serious determination and planning.

And love love love, Is a dangerous drug. You have to receive it and you still can't get enough of the stuff.

It's savage and it's cruel and it shines like destruction, comes in like the flood and it seems like religion, It's noble and it's brutal it distorts and deranges and it wrenches you up and you're left like a zombie

But in the grand scheme of life there is good news. That is there is hope and there is a way. You can escape and you can mend. It takes time. It takes some adjustment but if there is love there is a fix.

Love is a stranger In an open car To tempt you in And drive you far away

And I want you And I want you And I want you so It's an obsession

Love is a danger Of a different kind To take you away And leave you far behind And love love love Is a dangerous drug You have to receive it And you still can't Get enough of the stuff

It's savage and it's cruel And it shines like destruction Comes in like the flood And it seems like religion It's noble and it's brutal It distorts and deranges And it wrenches you up And you're left like a zombie

And I want you And I want you And I want you so It's an obsession

It's guilt edged Glamorous and sleek by design You know it's jealous by nature False and unkind It's hard and restrained And it's totally cool It touches and it teases As you stumble in the debris

And I want you And I want you And I want you so

Lyrics the Eurythmics

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