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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

Affair Recovery

Updated: Jun 8, 2023

To return to a normal state of health, mind or strength.

The recovery process takes time and there are intrinsic issues to deal with through this process.

The recovery process does not involve beating yourself up and feeling guilty at every moment and every thought you have. If someone tells you that that should be the case, then they have their own issues to deal with.

As the betrayer you have been through a lot. (I am talking about a one time event not a betrayer who has messed around multiple times)

The recovery process is extremely hard. It takes years to accept and years to deal with all the new emotions that attack you.

But how do you get through those emotions.

Firstly you have to control the mind.

It is easy to let the mind wonder into places that just wont help you recover.

My experience is this, a memory is ok if it makes the heart miss a beat. However if the memory starts creating emotions like what if? I miss? I want etc. Then that will not help you or your partner recover. Close those thoughts down.

Do something. Change the thought process.

Concentrate on what you have and how fortunate you are. Look at your life and examine the good. Focus on your relationship and delve into all the great aspects and look at how you can make it even better. Chances are you are in a great place. You just need to know it.

Look.. the truth is you are human. You made a wrong move. It happens. But let's move on and not live with guilt.

I have been asked if I regret what happened. My answer to that is yes and no. Wait for it!

Why no, well I learnt a lot from my experience and all those learnings I needed.

However I do regret putting people through the pain. They did not deserve that. In fact they deserve better. But that is something I needed to learn.

I choose not to live in guilt but to live in recovery.

We are all different.

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