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  • Writer's picturePaul Hopkins

The line was crossed. Oh yes, it was crossed.

Funny isn't it, that we all have our own perception of when the line is crossed. It is even harder when there are no set rules. The only gauge for whether you cross the line or not is a moral one, and we all have different morals. But fundamentally we all know what is right or wrong when building up to actually crossing the line.

However, can we actually determine where the line is.

Is the line crossed by talking to someone in a very deep personal way or is the line crossed when you have sex with them?

I suspect there will be differences of opinions here. Pending where you actually stood during the affair.

Opening up to someone is a dangerous game. I don't mean if they are your best mate and you need some advice on family matters. I am talking about opening up to someone we actually find attractive, let's face it when you open up to someone on a level of intimacy there is already a connection.

That is the key here. The connection. I made a mistake. I opened up to a person that I already had a liking to. The problem with that is when you open up and start talking about personal matters you are actually inviting that person into your life.

Really, you ask?

Think about it long and hard. When you have a deep, meaningful personal conversation with someone there is a connection. feelings rise and your relationship grows. You bond becomes more intense for that person. The emotions grow. Now, if you are attracted to someone and you have a deep meaningful conversation, your emotions will again grow and you will become attached to that person not only physically but also mentally

Here is where the problem lies, that mental connection stirs up the brain and you start to think about that person more and more. the more you think about them, the more endorphins are released into your body creating an addiction. This is how relationships blossom and rightly so. that is how we are made to function.

But we have to be weary. If we are in a relationship, those feelings are not always as prominent (that's why we have to work on intimacy as our relationships grow older) weary of that attraction and connection and where it can lead.

Now, I do believe that many people fall into this trap by accident.

Anyway back to the line and crossing it.

If people can fall into the trap of opening up to someone they like, it may be crossing the line. I do believe that if you open up to someone you like there is a hidden thought process of, where could this go? You have consciously or subconsciously chosen to attempt a deeper connection. At that point the line is crossed. Really, I hear you cry!

We only really interact deeply with people we like. We only open up to people we are close to or want to be close to. If we open up we chose to step over the line or at least to ignore the line. Whatever way you put it, we did it.

My theory is, as an affair looms and happens, there are many lines to be crossed. We know we are crossing them. each line we cross takes us deeper and deeper until there is no turning back and that is not a line, it is an electric fence with one way in and a maze and mine field to get through before you are even nearly out.

The problem is as we cross each line we become more and more infatuated with the notion of it must be what? Love?

Take heed my friends, monitor the line. be careful and wise.

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