Affair - Why 100% trust could be a bad thing!
Updated: Jul 12
I heard once that 100% trust is a health option in a relationship. But is it. I also heard that 100% was not a healthy option. I think I heard it on an interview on the https://www.emotionalaffair.org/ website. Go take a look.
I got to thinking about why 100% trust is not a good thing in a relationship.
I remember when I was young and stupid, and my trust was not at a matured state. Meaning that when I had a girlfriend/partner I was very protective, jealous if you like. Not is an over empowering controlling way. Which would certainly be a bad thing. But in a way that sparked emotions.
I remember a feeling. What was that feeling? When my partner went out with the girls and I was at home waiting for her to come home with a smile and mischief in her eyes. A good feeling a feeling that we belonged together. A feeling of want and to not let go.
That is what we are talking about when we talk about not having a 100% trust.
A 100% trust dulls the emotions.
An example is this:
If I have 100% trust that there will never be a fire in my house, I would never think about what safety features I might install to reassure me that if there is a fire I will be alerted.
What this does is make me think of ways to minimise any risk of fire. Therefore, I am alert to the fact that there could be a fire, which in turn creates an emotion to respond. That response is to think about it and improve my house by installing fire detectors.
This principle applies to a relationship.
If I have 100% trust in my relationship I become non-emotional, thoughtless, unexcited. My wife goes out I don’t care. I don’t even consider that she is my love and that I would do anything to keep her. In fact, we both become totally oblivious to emotion and that we need to think about improving our relationship to secure it. If she looks a guy because he has a really cool tattoo which she finds sexy I need to know. Because I want to compete to secure my/our future.
Confused? The fact of the matter is that a little bit of mis-trust is not an unhealthy thing! But the opposite. When your partner goes out just have a think about something?
Keep it healthy keep it real.